My view on gay marriage.

This follows on from some recent controversy here in Australian where a christian couple have announced that they plan to divorce if a recently introduced marriage amendment bill is passed.  It has become a mini media frenzy here with the announcement of this christian couples friends uninviting them to an upcoming wedding due to their views on gay marriage. 

It is not often that I "protest" about social issues but I found the treatment of this couple a little disturbing. They may not have the same thoughts as you and I and I will admit that they were not media savvy so their views came across even more right winged than they had hoped.  This recent view on gay marriage has allowed me some thinking time on my thoughts on the matter.

Firstly for those that may have different opinions I am not going to un-invite you to the opening of the envelope in my living room this evening. I respect you for having a different opinion to myself, unlike the "so called friends" of the couple in the media of late.

The last time I checked we live in a society where we can practice free speech in many forms (granted there has been recent legislation changes with regards to this under the pretence of National security) but in general we can still express our opinions (even if others disagree).

I am disappointed that the couple in question have been portrayed as people with no education and antiquated - at the end of the day it is their view and most likely some other people share their view - against gay marriage and maybe not so many wanting to divorce if the current private members bill is introduced. Not everyone in society has the same view as yourself or myself on all topics.

With regards to the current members bill introduced the following is what I understand (and I am happy to be corrected).

This is a private members bill introduced by the opposition leader Mr Shorten and is not a bill introduced by the Australian Labour Party (ALP). It is also a borrowed bill that has been floating around for some time now which was to be introduced by Tanya Plibersek (deputy opposition leader). Surprising that this bill was introduced into our parliament following a "yes vote" for gay marriage in Ireland (a very staunch Catholic country) and in a week where Mr Shorten was seen to be falling behind in the polls after leading them for a period of time and also at a time where there is current scrutiny into Mr Shorten's handling of an union deal - maybe I am being cynical......

It is interesting to note that when a similar bill was introduced in 2012 members of the ALP voted against this (as the ALP have the ability to conscious vote). The other interesting part is that it is not an ALP introduced bill as there are divisions currently with the ALP with regards to Gay marriage which was/is to be debated at their annual upcoming "catch up". The debate centres around the ability to conscious vote or to vote on gay marriage as a "block" - meaning all in or all out. There are many within the labour party who still support this vote still to be a conscious vote.

As a consequence it may not even make it to a vote in the lower house with the Coalition (Libs/Nats) holding a substantial majority and currently they vote as a "block" and don't have the party supported option of a conscious vote. Their current stance is a "No vote".

The other item that I would like to bring to attention is that there has been ongoing discussion of introducing later this year a bill with bipartisan support after considered discussion on the actual wording of the bill and its greater impact on the Constitution and any other current legislation so we don't have the ludicrous situation we did a couple of years ago where the Territory of the ACT passed a bill that was promptly overturned by the High Court of Australia only 2 weeks later which made those married in the short period of time nul and void.

It disappoints me that this current topic is being used a political football. There should be a measured bipartisan approach to this debate where all parties are able to express their opinion and then come up with a measured outcome that suits just about everyone.

I will repeat it again; it disappoints me that this current topic is being used as a political football.

For those wanting to know my opinion here it is. I am against gay marriage. Yes you have read this correctly. Personally I would prefer to see the Marriage Act abolished and have Civil Unions for everyone one and for those who are religious the ability to be married according to the views, customs of your religion in a separate religious ceremony.

Thanks for reading.

Identity (Self)

The following thoughts have been kicking around in my head for many months but today they are flowing freely from the pen to the paper (or in this modern world from my mind to fingers to keyboard).

For a long time now I feel that I have lost my self identity.  Not the facts that identify us; name, age, date of birth, address, phone number, bank account number, health insurance number, computer login ID's etc but the self identity which defines us as a person to our family, partner, friends and work colleagues.

I cannot pinpoint the exact time that I lost my self identity.  In all likelihood it has been disappearing slowly over a period of time and probably started long before I realised it was vanishing.

Our identity can be summed up in many worlds; parent, partner, friend, lover, son, daughter, brother, sister and colleague to name a few.

Not long before Christmas I broke up with a partner.  This was a decision not taken lightly but after close to two years of questioning the effectiveness of the relationship and if we were both achieving what we wanted from the relationship and spending more time arguing and apart than together and enjoying I found it more satisfying being single.  Not that being single does not have its advantages (you only have to clean up after yourself, come and go when you want) but it can be a little daunting. Everything depends on you; mortgage payments, bills, cooking, cleaning, saving etc.  If you are not functioning at 100% these things suffer and there is no one there to "lend the hand" or "share the load" and there are the more important things such as the knowing longing looks and the moments of tender intimacies.  Sometimes I wonder if I am a failure by being single.  You question if there is something fundamentally wrong with yourself and why others don't find you attractive.  I have not come to a conclusion on this either way.  The conclusion I have is that until I find myself again this will be a void unfilled.

There are other areas that I feel there is some failure.  My dad has been diagnosed with alzheimer's and I feel guilty by being a nine hour drive away to asset my mum with his management.  Then there has been the realisation that I will never be able to call myself a parent (facing reality here - 44, single, gay and living in a country where internal adoption is near impossible).  This is something that I had thought was reconciled many years ago but seems to have raised its head of late.  I have no definitive answer for either of these.  The one answer I do have is that whilst I have been focusing on the negatives the negatives have been eroding my self identity.

For many years I have prided myself on being a good friend.  Of late I feel that I have not always been there for others.  This is my perception and possibly my perception could be reality (or it maybe far from it).  It is something that weighs on my mind at the moment.  There is much to be said about the complexities of friendships and I might explore this in further in another post.

When there is a lot of negative in your life you tend to question everything but often question it with a distorted view.  So to get myself out of this funk that I am and hopefully think in a more positive light I have come up with some action plans.

No alcohol for a month - this one is tracking okay at two weeks in.
Read a book by the end of this month.
Connect the surround sound system at home by the end of the month
Light a candle
Eat healthy
Only buy my lunch one day a week at work
Exercise daily
Reduce hours of wasting time on the internet
Accept offers of outings (subject to affordability)
Go to bed early and get up early

The next post will be more upbeat and hopefully sooner than later.