Friends (Friendship)

Friendship is a relative new concept to me.

Apologies to those who may be shocked by this admission.

Growing up in a regional farming community in the 70's and 80's knowing I was different (later determined gay) to the other 7 boys at my local primary school I always found the concept of friendship difficult.  I did not have any friends.  Lunchtimes were spent alone in the makeshift library reading as I felt I did not really relate to anyone.  I participated at school in classes and physical education and even made the regional volleyball team in high school but for many years I would be alone.

Even today in numbers I have very few friends.  If we use social media as a measurement I currently have 53 friends.  I also have a follower on this blog but to be honest they are also a Facebook friend!

This number is low but that is not what is important.

As we move into an age (or I feel we are already there) where everything seems so disposable (from the family home and car through to the current pop sensation - Will people in 50 years time be commenting on the influence that say One Direction has had on popular music like they do about Elvis, The Beatles and the sounds of Motown?).  As a consequence of this changing age I value friendship very highly.

It sits near the top of any "what is important in life" lists that I do.  Most-times it is jostling with love for the Number 1 position but if I look at it objectively it should be Number 1 as love can be fleeting whilst true friendships endure.

What has brought me to write about his topic today?

Last night I shared an enjoyable and hospitable dinner with some friends that have put me ups for a couple of nights in a foreign city.  During eating dinner (which was awesome) and sharing an bottle of French red wine the topic became very personable but also at the same time very comfortable.  Even though we may not have all been on the same page with our views on the various topics discussed there was a common element of respect and also the ability to listen to the others thoughts and views.

This dinner, which finished late by normal standards was followed by my host getting up very early this morning to walk me to the Metro to purchase a ticket and also to give me easy to follow instructions of which stop to get off at and which signs to follow to transfer to a main line train.

These 2 events got me thinking that acquaintance would not do this where as true friends would.

True friendship takes many forms.

From someone lovingly preparing a meal for you in your kitchen as a thank you for giving them a cooking book for Christmas or a friend coming over after work and just sitting silently with you on your bed after a crap day at work.

I think we should cherish these little "gems" of friendship that occur everyday.  From being dropped of to the airport in the middle of the working day to my oldest friend who never complains when I ask for her new postal address (it is just that the old one is so installed in my mid that after 3 odd years I can still recite it).

Your true friends are there on the days when you lose your way and they are there to celebrate when you kick the winning goal.  Just as importantly you are there for them in both the good and not so good times.

Without sounding morbid but if i should happen to not be here tomorrow and if only half of my Facebook friends turned up to say their final good byes I would be extremely happy as I have had the privilege of sharing some major ups and downs with them.

So thank you my friends for reminding me daily that through this disposable life we pass through that there is at least 1 that that can endure the test of time.