Valentines Day

To be completely honest I am not a fan of Valentines Day.  Fortunately or unfortunately I have been single for more Valentines Days than I care to remember.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy for people in relationships but this day always reminds me that I am single and all the self doubts that go along with this.

I am not sure if you are aware of Sharon Strzelecki from the television series Kath & Kim but I sometimes feel like Sharon.  Sharon is perpetually single, despite being secretly in love with her first love, Brett and has very little luck in the love stakes, even after finding her Shane Warne look-a-like.  "Poor Sharon; so unlucky in love".  So this year I decided to take a different approach.

The plan was to find other single people and enjoy a dinner out.  Easier said than done.  The finding of friends was straight forward but the enjoying could prove harder.  For some reason this day always makes be feel,..........well it is hard to explain.  Sometimes I feel that I am failure as I have not found a mate, other times I feel that there must be something wrong with me or that I have two heads on my shoulders that make me unattractive to others.

I know this is all silly and when I am in a rational mood these thoughts are deep and buried.  However there is something about the lead up to Valentines Day that peels aways all the layers of rationale to expose my self doubts.  The adverts for the romantic weekend getaways, romantic dinners, flowers, chocolates and stuffed toys are like emergency services sirens screaming at me and telling me I am single.  Then there is the day itself with the radio stations holding silly competitions and then there is the steady stream of flowers being delivered to the office and you know that none are going to make their way to your desk.  When you get home the news always has a piece about the value of flowers sold on that day and for some reason you want to take yourself out for dinner and then you realise that every venue you select will be full of smug couples.  So as you prepare your dinner you find that a bottle of red wine allows you to drown your sorrows as the television station advertises the Valentines Day themed viewing line up.

However for some reason (maybe I am maturing) or maybe it was the planning of the dinner I felt that I was doing something to keep the insecurities at bay.  Suddenly I felt as if it was just another Thursday evening catching up with good friends and enjoying a meal and of course each others conversation and company.

The conversation was flowing on all sorts of topics, the food was good and then the move to another venue for a cocktail and dessert was fun.

More importantly there were none of the usual insecurities for the day, I reflected and smiled to myself about the flowers coming to the office that day, the couples walking together hand in hand either going to or coming from their dinners out and enjoyed a great meal with great friends.

So was there a lesson learnt?  Maybe, maybe not.  What was learnt is that you need to take control of situations that make you feel insecure about yourself, as you should never be too down on yourself and revel in situations that you might find yourself in.

So thank you Valentines Day 2013.